Nuts and bolts of separating

I have finally decided I can't live with my husband any more. He doesn't feel he should have to move, unlike Lululove's husband who left when she told him to. So I, handicapped, have to divide all our stuff, pack and move. I am going to move about 90 miles away, where my job is (it's on online job; I never go there) and my family.

So how do I do this? Do I worry about how he's going to pay the rent? Do I continue supporting him? How do I divide things? Why can't he participate in our lives together? Arwen, I think when you did it, you were both employed, so there wasn't the desperate dependence that he has on me. My daughter thinks that my husband is capable of working and that I'm enabling him by supporting him and that he will find a job once I leave and take my paycheck with me.

I'm looking for advice from people who have been there. Arwen, I know your husband woke up and came back and you're still together. I'd love any other advice or input people can give me. Did any of your marriages survive, or was it such a relief not to deal with the ADDer that you didn't want to go back?