Odd situation.

Ok so many of you may find this humorous, crazy or just unbelievable but I find it utterly confusing!!  My husband usually shaves his head, which I hate because I love it when its a bit longer (like the shortest clipper attachment, before bald).  So last night he tells me he is going to go and shave his head and take a shower..fine whatever do what ya gotta do.  Really I couldn't figure out why he was telling me, well when he came out he had only shaved the bottom half of his head and looked like he had a mushroom on top of his head.  I actually laughed and told him to go finish shaving his head, because I thought he did it as a joke, because he was in a really good mood yesterday.  Then when he told me he was gonna leave the stuff on top I asked him if he wanted me to get it with the longer clippers cause the sides were sticking out.  Well it turns out he has decided to grow back his late 90's hair, that he still had in 2006....shaved halfway up his head and then grow out the top longer (like to his ears).  I still thought he was kidding and told him that that hair cut looked dumb when I met him and it wasn't going to look any better now.  Turns out he wasn't kidding....and when I asked him how long he was going to keep it like that he told me "until you cut your hair and dye it blond".  A little background he hates my long hair (comes to the middle of my back) and wants me blond.  Unfortunately I look like a Umppa Loompa with short hair (really it looks horrible), I cut it about 4 years ago and immediately regretted it.  He found pics of me blond (I was naturally a strawberry blond until I became very sick and the medications they had to give me darkened my hair) and when I was making $40000 a year it was no big deal to get it dyed every two weeks.  But now that I make minimum wage, I cant just blow $240 a month on my hair!  When I told him that wasn't going to happen, I looked dumb with short hair and didn't have the money to be blond, he told me I didn't need to "have it done, just dump some peroxide on it".  At home coloring turns my hair orange because of the red in it, I can only imagine what peroxide would do!!  He ended the conversation with "fine if you wont look like I want you to then I am going to look like whatever I want".

Really I could care less if he wants to look like a bit dumb, but he is trying to finish college and get a job in communications/broadcasting.  No one is going to take him seriously or hire him if he looks like a 1990's reject.  I tried explaining that he needed to look professional to get a job, but his comeback was that if they didn't like what he looked like he didn't want to work for them....argggggggg

I honestly wonder if this is his response to me stepping back and letting go.....like hes trying to get my attention.  Or I could be wrong and looking way to far into it....either way, obviously I didn't handle this the way I should have.  Even if I did think he was just joking around.......any suggestions??? I'm open to any and all!

Let him do what he wants with

Let him do what he wants with his hair, tell him you love it even if you hate it, and never mention it again. Trust me.

My husband has decided he wants the sides of his shaved (nearly bald) and he spikes the rest of it up in a mohawk type deal. I don't like his hair long, so as long as it is short I don't care what he does with it. He fixes it differently for work so it looks fine. Even the mohawk doesn't look completely unprofessional. (he's over the IT dept for our entire city). If he likes it, I don't care. If I ever told him his hair looked dumb, he would die. The only thing I've ever just disliked a LOT was when he grew his goatee/beard (only on his chin) long. I hated that...but tried nicely to tell him until he finally cut it. :-/

 

Reflecting on my post

Sheri there are times that I think our respective DH's were separated at birth.  Thats basically the style mine has going but he is letting the top grow out long.  I think my confusion is more with his sudden want to have me cut and dye my hair and the manipulation that he will let himself look ridiculous until I do. 

1.  I do not have the money, time or patience to have short, bleach blond hair again......its hard enough to keep up with straightening my hair every other day so that I look professional.  Its very frizzy, curly, and thick (more reasons to keep it long) so straightening it is my only option if I don't want to look like a clown.

2.  I look horrible with short hair!! Why would he want me to be unattractive??  Totally confuses the hell outta me!!

At the same time, wear yours

At the same time, wear yours like you want it. This isn't about hair..it is about control. He wants to see how far you'll go for him. Problem is,  you bend over backwards and then they lose respect. (especially if he knows you don't want/like short hair). I kept mine very short and spiky for years...my DH LOVES long, straight hair. I grew it out again...but not so much for him, just decided to do it. Do what you want with yours...and let him do what he likes with his.

Yeah I know.....

It used to be that it was him in his own reality...now its like hes playing a game to see how far he can push me or get my attention like he used to.  Now I just refuse to play the game, but that doesn't seem to be working out in my favor.  Gotta love the coping skills of my DH!!