One step forward...twenty steps back

Ok, I wasn't sure exactly where to put this so here it is and I need to NOW!!

So everything is still going quite well until oh Wednesday!  My DH went to the doctor for a refill on the Wellbutrin (he is having one hell of a time quitting smoking this time) and because the cough he has had is not going away.  In the last month he has had two ear infections and while talking with the doctor she asked him about other symptoms.  He told her about being sick all the time, the weight gain, the tiredness.  Well she runs some test and all symptoms point to cancer (that he may have had for the last 2 years).  More tests next week, to get a concrete diagnosis (there is also a possibility of it being diabetes) this has thrown him into a tailspin (although he maintains it isn't bothering him).  He has now told me how he wants his funeral (ridiculous things like he wants a casket he can sit up in), how fast he wants me to "move on", etc....

Yesterday I found out that I got the job I have been really wanting: a bit more an hour, no weekends, no nights, no holidays.  He isn't even happy about it, he wants me to stay where I am even though its horrible hours and less pay.  To say the least I was in an awesome mood!  I also had measurements done to see how my fitness training is going and its going very well...I finally have biceps you can see and I have lost 40 pounds.  Well I was in a goofy mood so i was showing him my new muscles and his response was "your not even flexing", I figured he was just into his computer stuff so I walked away.  Well as I walked away hes like "why are you bothering me anyway".  I cant win he bitches when I'm in not in a "happy" mood all the time and accuses me of being too negative, but when I am in a really good mood I am bothering him.....arggggggg.

Ok I had to get that out of my system!  I knew you all would understand, when no one around here would have!  Have an awesome day! ~~HUGS~~