I have come to accept lots of things about my H that, in the past, I was not willing or able to see and accept. My eyes are opening slowly as to how little my H is able (willing?) to handle. I really have to stop expecting him to be able (willing?) to process more than one thought a day. So, I have to be mindful to not bring up more than one subject a day. Then I must speak in shorts sentences and not too many at a time....or he will go into offense/defense mode. He seems to not need conversation or connection with another person at all unless he is ranting about the government. I must permit our relationship life to be so small that it feels like death to me. And I just have to accept that and find community where I can because I need human connection.