I recently found out that my ADD husband has not only been looking at rather a lot of porn online, he has posted on BDSM forums, saying things like that he might be looking for the right sub girl.
Now, I have always been sexual and have been an active participant in our sex life, including sexual BDSM games, so it's not like he couldn't get that at home. However, he would hardly ever touch me. Over the almost 10 years we've been together, if we had sex more than once every other month, it was a miracle! He would say he wanted to have more sex, but that he'd get distracted...
...apparently he got distracted by all the porn. ;-/
Anyway, when I confronted him about these posts, he freaked out and grabbed my computer (laptop) and held it "hostage," like a little kid. This machine is my life as I am in law school and it has all my work on it. Later he tried removing the wireless router, which I pointed out was silly since I would be on a fully wireless campus in 12 hours... point is, he was trying to keep me from finding more. He was trying to control the situation and my reaction.
Finally, he calmed down and over the next month I have gotten out of him that he did this porn forum stuff because he was "curious" but he swears he never hooked up with anyone. Then he said that he never felt worthy of me and so he was looking for someone at his "level."
And, of course, he wants me to stay. I think this is cheating, as surely as if he had actually had sex with someone. He was interacting online with strangers, talking about sexual things, and that post about maybe finding the right sub girl...
I know ADDers want stimulation, but this is BS.