I wanted to share this in case it's relevant and helpful for anyone else out there, and also because I'm so happy about it...
My relationship with my long-term ADHD-diagnosed partner has had the most remarkable breakthrough.
It began when we read a book called "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" by Robert Burney. Then, individually, we did some telephone counselling with the author. There's also a website: www.joy2meu.com
For my partner, there was an enormous need to tackle issues of family dysfunction from childhood; it had mounted over his life, layer upon layer, into an impenetrable fort that meant that in his personal relationships he was not able to communicate or express honestly, in the moment, but would avoid, deflect, conceal, be 'out of focus' etc.
He's had an incredible awakening of sorts, literally like a key finally fitting the lock and the door opening. He is here, has arrived - not in a heightened (hyper-focused) way, but just like everyone can breathe at last; there is flow and exchange.
It's as though the ADHD was not 'the' thing, but a symptom.
Now it's like he is seeing the world freshly, able to give and receive, speak and listen, here and now, process experiences differently...