Overly attached non-ADHD partner, please help, please...

I am dating ADHD boyfriend for 1 year, despite the ups and downs, I love him so much. I always blame it's his ADHD behavior drives me nut. Recently I found I am the clingy one who possibly getting obsessive. I don't know what to do.

Just a quick background of my story, I don't have much experience in relationship, he is the only long term/serious one I've ever have. As a characteristic of ADHD - hyper focus, we spent so much time together in the beginning of the relationship. I am madly in love that he is my world my everything. We did so many interesting things together, traveling, trying out new things and I stay over in his place regularly. Of course in between, there is times he got emotion swing and anger issue. But we got it through I keep telling myself it's ADHA not him.

Last week he got really stressed at work, he shut down himself, disappear, isolated himself. He text me said he is busy, and later called me in anger saying he is busy why I can't stop harassing him. I am shocked - harassing? I call/email/text to show I care for you so much you call it harass? He used to call me everyday one day, it stops abruptly so I check - in case he is unwell or anything - that's "harassment"? And I found that he keeps updating his fb, perhaps he is busy at work but definitely not THAT busy??? I am upset - I did nothing wrong. Why I have to suck it up all his rude ADHD behavior?

As usual I tell myself to be considerate and understanding - it's his ADHA, not him. I talk to my friend about my frustration. All I ask for from him is to connect, at least one call a day, is that too much? it that so hard??? I feel so worthless when disconnect from him. I feel being penalized for wrongdoing. My friend said "don't you think you are too clingy? it's not ADHA, a normal man needs his own time." I CAN give him space but what I ask for is not disconnect, disappear without reason that leaves me worried. Why can't he do this for me? 

Then I google some relationship blog, I was shock that I could be the crazy one to ask for attention, overly attached all the time. It's a bit hard for me to change as I am very dependent on him - but my point it, he made this happen by giving me hyper attention during our dates, he made me fall in love with him crazily. He turned me into a super caring person who remind him on chores and turns it to my responsibility to take care of him. Now he build up his wall all of a sudden that he needs time himself. I am going through two extremes, either a center of him or abandoned. Does anyone feel the same way?

I know at the end of the day, I love him. I know he loves me. I trust him. I want to make our relationship work but I am not good at handle my frustration and loneliness. Is that because of ADHA or just me?

no no no,,,OMG!!! not you....

OMG!! I would tell you right now I am exact you in my relationship,but now I am going through separation,not only b/c of this,but for many other reasons...I use to do the same thing,,,calling him everyday and making sure to keep in touch,and that is not being in a clingy relationship and that is not yoyur fault,that is called love..yes,I loved him a lot too,but I love myself more...love yourself more...

My spouse did that to me 2 weeks ago when he was having problems in work,they underpaid him and I had to leave and go home when he was acting all crazy,and moody,saying to me that I am in his space,then he shuts himself down and away from me for one week,no calls,no text,NOTHING.I know exactly how you are feeling,I too use to get a phone call everyday for months,and then he stopped calling all at once for about a month now...I am not going to stay with this man,but you know what you want and I can't advice you to leave...all I can say to you is when the time comes,you would know when to leave or if to stay....

I wish you all the best....keep good....I am sorry we are in bad relationships....but always remember,there is plenty of love out there,and he is not the only one....you don't have to take that kind of abuse,the choice is yours...I made my choice...I chose out....

lovehurts....