Overwhelmed by taking care of everything, and ADHD spouse cold as ice

I'm not sure whether to cry with joy or sadness at finding this site--I'm so relieved to find others going through the same things, but then I'm sad for those of you going through the same things!  I've been overwhelmed lately, with the normal responsibilities that I have to take care of since P doesn't follow through with much, even when I ask for help.  I'm trying to start a new career while working in my old job that I hate, running the kids around at least five nights a week, we're strapped financially with daily bills, and our oldest is starting college this fall. I sat down and told P very calmly that with all that was going to be happening in our lives with my new job and schedule change, that he would need to be more available to help with the kids and household.  He promised he would be more helpful and told me not to worry, and it felt like the movie Groudhog Day yet again.  I feel like a description is in order--maybe someone can identify with the same habits and issues with their ADHD spouse.  

P is a wonderful person, he's generous, smart, witty, and happens to be a clinically depressed alcoholic, workaholic, hoarder with the ability to close off his emotions with the drop of one of my tears.  Thank God he's sober,  and on meds for his ADHD that have also done wonders for his depression.  Despite those awesome developments of proper medication and newfound sobriety, some things just never change.  We were arguing over household chores again, and I broke down and admitted to him how incredibly stressed out I was.  I told him I was crying on my way home from work the other day and was fantasizing about just steering my car into a tree.  HIs response was to turn his back to me and go to sleep.  I sat there sobbing in bed next to him and he didn't do or say anything at all.  Is this "normal" for an ADHD spouse to react that way?  It's definitely not the first time he's turned his back on me when I've been distraught, but this cuts to the core.  I don't know if I can get past this, I'm so incredibly hurt and lonely.  This can't be healthy for me to stay, but I don't want to break up my family.  He's slowly sucking the very breathe out of me.