Panning for Gold

My paradigm of the Chain of Events:

1.  My spouse is in the dining room, backing-up (walking).  I don't remember why he was walking backward.

2.  My son is walking forward, carrying a bowl of 'right-off-the-stove' Ramen Noodle Soup.

3.  I am standing near the stove.

4.  A collision of the 2 men happens.  

5.  I cry out my spouse's name.

6.  Both men are splashed with boiling hot soup.

7.  I am YELLED at by my spouse, because I chastised him.  He wants to know how I could yell at him?  He was the one who got burned with the soup.  He was walking backward, so it was my son's fault because he was walking forward.  

I try to discern this . . .  but it is un-discernable.  

I KNOW i was not chastising my spouse.

I KNOW I was not accusing him of being in the wrong.

I KNOW the only word out of my mouth was my spouse's  name.

I KNOW it was in response to seeing the wetness on his sleeve from the boiling hot liquid.

I just refused to rehash/replay/fight-a-losing battle. So the only thing I say is that my out-cry was a response of compassion to seeing the hot soup splash on him.

Then I went upstairs.  Did some paperwork.  Then went to bed.

8.  This AM my spouse walks into the room, and says,"I want to say again, I am sorry."  (He never had said he was sorry in the first place.)

So I only can listen.  Grrr.  He just justified that he had already said he was sorry.  It feels as though he is re-writing history.  This is maddening.  

It it so-o-o-o-o hard to glean his acknowledgement out of this.  However, I think it would be the right thing to do.  I am losing my ever-lovin'-mind. . . . . . . . .