Partner of almost 10 years refusing to admit she has ADD/ADHD

I was 20 when I met this wonderful 26 year old woman that was pretty, divorced,  had a child, and I thought everything was great about her. During early portions of the relationship I didn't notice things about her behavior right away but I was botheredby certain things such as having a conversation and she quickly got side tracked, and during arguments she would twist my words and said that I said things that I never said. Her past life was never my business but as I just met her she told me she just senther child to spend time with his father and he was barely a year and 3 months, and just came from the Army. She and him had issues before he was deployed and she ended up leaving him for another man while he was deployed. There were some problems in Texas that caused her to regain possession of her child that are still uknown to her but he got kicked out of the military. Either how at the age of 26 she was living with her relatives and she didn't get along with her sister in law, and probably had fights with her too every once in a while. 

Her brother ended up kicking her out because he didn't wanted me to be in his house cause the landlord thought I lived there. In spite of him telling her over and over that I can't come over she found a way to get me to come over to see her against his wishes. She ended upliving with a coworker, and I ended up getting her pregnant and we decided to move in with each other. As much as I love her I should have known the baggage that I was dragging with me. She left her home when she was just 15 to live with her boyfriend, got pregnant, and ended up ending her relationship with him after some time. She has gone through a few relationships, and finally decided to marry someone that she just barely met in less than a whole month. Instead of dealing with her marriage after he came back from deployment she deserted him for someone else, and she ended up moving from that relationship later. So why am I discussing this? Well it is just to know about how this person has had a history of making so many poor mistakes before we were even in a relationship. Her approach to a relationship, and probably what kind of person we are dealing with.

In the last couple of years she got so involved with her job that she never dedicated much time in the house and left me taking care of both kids while I worked from home. We never had the means to afford daycare but when she came home all the time she was always in a different zone. Straight to the couch, watch tv, and dedicate little time to our relationship. We got any many arguments, and I admit I said things I shouldn't have out of frustration. I am not perfect but I always been dedicated to our relationship. Its painful to speak to someone and say we are going to do better together so many times just for the person to relapse in some type of way and go back to the way they use to be. She is the type of person that you have to tell her what to do, and constantly remind her of things. She would forget children appointments, and expect me to deal with the issue. 

Back in 2010 we ended up planning to break up with each other and move on with our lives. We lived in separate places but one day she knocks on my door and tells me she has to speak to me. She told me she quit her job because the person she was assigned as manager is someone she had issues with previously. This decision was so impulsive on her end and lacked of so much thought that she was jobless for 2 months and never found a job that quite payed her like that. The irony of this is that she made it difficult after our separation by picking up our daughter from the daycare whenever she felt like it and when she couldnt' she would forget to tell me. She would drop of my daughter without telling me on a day that we never agreed on and was a total rude person when we engaged into any argument. We reconcile and by the end of the year she ended up moving in. She always goes through a period of doing welll in our relationship but then she relapses and starts perceiving everything as control, and starts blaming me to be verbally abusive because I have to keep telling her the same things over and over and over. She would go to work and leave huge messes on the kitchen for me to clean, and sometimes would do the same. She would schedule cleaning one a week every once in a while and would always leave the floor really messy. Things like that caught up with me and I ended up telling her that I wanted to break up the relationship. I gave her plenty of time and notice. We would get into arguments all the time about certain things and by Feb 14 she had 5,000 in her bank account from taxes and she never found a place as she agreed on. I mounted the pressure for her to leave and by the end of the month of February I found out she quit her job and never finished a 2 week notice. Something she blames me even though I never made the decision for her. She never takes accountability of her actions. She ended up moving to my moms house and spent about 3 months in there saying she was looking for jobs but she had never built a resume to begin with and was putting applications through her cell phone . My mother was getting tired of her being in her house so I ended up trying to find her a job myself. In about 2 weeks I ended up finding her job, and after a bunch of arguments. Everytime I came to her with a job she should apply she would accuse me of being controlling and manipulating. To make matters worse, after she came back in my place she would have to wait until i ask her to clean certain messes and would never stop doing things i ask her not to do in the house. The house was never messy when she wasn't here. I come home at times and I seen her eat in the table with the kids while the table is messy and the kitchen is really messy. Or I would see her sitting down while the kitchen is extremely messy. Both of her children from different fathers have ADHD, and she actually has the face to tell me that she is ok with herself? Well I gave her until this Friday to move out. I had enough of these 10 years.