Permission to live your own life

"If you love someone else more than yourself, you will always compromise too much, ignore the red flags, get hurt, and lose yourself in your relationships."

I am trying to understand myself better and know myself better.  When I was a young girl I was taught over and over again that I should love Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last = JOY.  Most of the women who grew up in my mainstream protestant church are today similar to me....meek, obedient and ineffective because we do not allow ourselves to fight....trying to love Jesus and Others and putting down ourselves even in our mature years. There are a few strong women...but I am perceiving that they had parents who adored them and encouraged them to be strong.  Most of us in those Sunday School classes were from families where obedience was mandatory and disobedience had disastrous consequences.  Many of us did not give ourselves the permission to do anything but obey anyone who might have a rule to give us, trying very hard not to offend anyone. And that includes our spouses who were not being loving toward us.  I have not found the key to permitting myself to be a mature woman who can stand up to oppression.  I am ashamed of that but it is true.  But I am searching and trying.

"Because, to be honest, losing yourself is far more painful than losing a relationship. And it will take you forever to find your strength, dignity, and truth again."