Does any of this trigger anything for any of you spouses of ADDers? It was part of an article in The Atlantic.
"Four researchers from Ouachita Baptist University in a recently published study note that "a lot of personality" generally means people who are sociable, energetic, and emotionally expressive. They’re confident and assertive. They are (gag) “bubbly,” the study found. “It appears that a lack of animation and outward expression of emotions” is important to the perception that someone lacks a personality, the authors write. And thus, the study comes to a timeworn, frustrating phenomenon: People seem to confuse bombastic displays of “ME!” with a rich interior life. No personality really just means quiet, and quiet is seen as unlikable. People who are just trying to go with the flow, to not say anything that might piss anyone off, to not loudly voice their lunch-place preference, haven’t been doing themselves any favors.When you keep your personality on the inside, people think it doesn’t exist. The tyranny of extroversion persists."
The part that got me is the comment "gag" about bubbly personalities. I detest the over bubbly personality and flee from it gagging. DH sometimes eludes to his funniness personality and that I could have a better sense of humor.....(to "humor"him"). He is a clown and overdoes it with inane weird comments that make me want to crawl under my chair. Of course, if you don't have to live with this, you can laugh at him being the foolish jokester. I know I would....and I did when we were dating. But when you are married to someone like him, it frustrates you because joining in on the "fun" makes you a foolish silly pants too. I would like to be comfortable with making light and feeling carefree and having a good time. But I feel a need to be on guard and not fall in to the juvenile weirdness. He overdoes it and seems unaware of what is appropriate for his audiences. And unaware of the situations. He is focused on his own adolescent enjoyment and pleasure.
His silliness has put a damper on my own ease at being carefree and funny. I used to be witty and urbane and fun. Now, I must admit, I probably do seem like a stick in the mud when we are together. I don't like that about myself. I seem to be too much in my head and leery of making a fool of myself. I was once a medium status extrovert. I am now more introverted. Anyone else?
But, I also cannot tolerate those people who try too hard to be seen as cute and loud and clowny in their older years.