Picking Up ADD Traits

I've never in my life experienced what is happening to me now. I am disorganized, easily distracted, incredibly overwhelmed and essentially unmotivated. I've been in a relationship with a man with ADD and depression for a little over 7 years. It took 6 years to get him on medication and therapy, which seems to be more the norm than the exception. The anger, dear god, his anger.

I've come to believe the anger is self-loathing over the number of times he does not complete a task, forgets entirely, does only part of a job, or takes months sometimes years to start or finish something. Part of it all makes sense. If I were continuously unsuccessful and couldn't hide it from my partner I'd be pretty miserable as well. The oddity is the mess that enables and contributes to the problem. His work environment has all sorts of papers strewn around. It would drive me wild if I had to find something in that mess. Yet, the anger is demonstrated the moment I ask for a document, paper or something that is on his desk or ask if he did something he was supposed to do and he did not.

My intense dilemma (and it seems like others share this problem) is why not FILE the documents on the desk so you can find them.... then you don't have to feel inadequate because you can't find them......then you don't have to get angry because you feel inadequate and nobody has to live in the equivalent of hell.

I started this post with the subject line "picking up ADD traits." I am not taking care of my work environment anymore, I am having trouble finding things, I am now keeping lists and putting up Post-It notes as reminders. Am I now in some sort of twisted symbiotic place with him? Have I taken care of so much for so long I just can't keep all the plates spinning? Am I acting out by behaving just like him so I can say "I forgot" just as often as he does? Is this revenge? I am wanting to take care of me for a while now. Frankly, because I'm terrified that I can't remember anything anymore and I feel like I lost myself in this whole thing. "I am lost. I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back. Please ask me to wait for myself." - Unknown