I parted from my husband of many years over a year ago because it became intolerable to live together due to his constant lapses of judgment, big and little one of which resulted in him seriously injuring himself. He was completely inconsistent when it came to any kind of responsibility, but what I could rely on was daily shocks - one very regular one being parking tickets which would arrive regularly in the post (he would not tell me when he had got them). Which I had to pay as he did not work in fact refused to earn a living.
Last night I went to fetch our youngest from him, as he had had my car to take his son out of town for the weekend. I arrived to find my car parked in an illegal place right outside his mother's house, which would have incurred an extra fine as it was a suspended bay, had it been spotted. I rang the doorbell, and he answered. I said, can you give me the key so I can move the car before coming in? He flew into a rage, denied it was illegally parked, would not let me in to see his mother, and bundled our son out of the door. Later he texted, still maintaining I had my facts wrong and the car was safely parked. In the end he had to concede that he was wrong and the car was illegally parked and he apologised by text. This morning I get this from him by email (ps I was 15 minutes late only):
'Sweet Linsy says:
"Hi Rob - so sorry I am a bit late tonight - lovely to see you - had
a bugger of journey - is the car ok here?"
**Yes! Very nice and lovable.**
Thoughtless Linsy says:
"Can I have the key so I can park the car legally?"
**No! Enraged, enraging and not lovable.**
Result: missed opportunity to love each other.
Meanwhile, I hope you had a pleasant weekend.'
With his history of forcing me into paying endless fines incurred by him through very poor judgement, and my protests against this, what on earth is going on here?
He seems to be writing me a script whereby I behave in a completely unrealistic way in the face of extreme provocation.
that was not an isolated incident at all - but one of hundreds of let downs of this and many other kinds all of which involved me taking responsibility for the results of his poor judgment.
Can anyone help? He is finally going through the diagnostic process to see what ails him, but what, pray, is this?
Thank you anyone who cares to comment.