Please Help! How Do Non ADHD Partners Communicate Effectively With Their ADHD Partners?

Hi All, 

I have read through many of these forums, and as a non ADHD partner, I can relate to so many of you. I am currently in a relationship with a man with ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was 18 and is now 28. He was taking adderall for the first couple of years after being diagnosed, and then stopped. We have been together for almost three years now, and it has been incredibly difficult this past year especially. We have been getting into many arguments about the lack of communication, my feelings of distrust, intimacy issues, and overall not feeling heard, important, or seen as a priority. I have asked for a few days of space for some clarity and perspective on what to do, as I am at a loss. We had talked about seeing a doctor to get back on adderall at one point, but he has not made that happen, and at this point I want to do it for him, but also don't want to come off as taking too much control over him, as he has stated he feels criticized or that I am being controlling at times. I don't mean to be this way, I just feel completely lost when I cannot communicate. What are some ways that you have coped with these issues, and how do you communicate so that both parties are heard and understood? 

Thank you in advance for any advice!