My husband’s job reduced his salary over a year ago and he did not tell me. We split joint account and contribute a percentage of our incomes to the acct to cover our expenses. He earns a lot less so his amount is less. This system was suggested by our family counselor bc he has been so inconsistent with financial contributions the past decade plus of our marriage. He promises to pay for nannies raise, or nanny increase once our second son was born, or part of monthly rent and then time comes and he expects me to pick up and pay his share because once again :he cant” due to circumstances out of his control or his lack of earnings and I always did. Fast forward we have two young boys and buy a house and I put down a six figure down payment and he promises to pay 60% of mortgage when due. Guess what when it is due his job reduced him to no salary and commission only and he has no commissions apparently past six plus months (earned and/or saved) so he has no money for joint account expenses like kids school groceries for our kids nanny ( since i work full time) all bills even his own his car 's car insurance I had to pay December 2013 (bc/ it is on mine and he announced he could not pay it so i had to pay his and MINE from savings to keep my car ins) GA power, scana , water cable food etc wtc. All gets dumped on me six months ago with no notice and no time for me to save at all. Just matter of fact, i have no money to contribute so.....( very similar to past decade of relying on him financially to carry his weight and contribute.) he also cant pay his promised 60% of our current mortgage now. Ironically the month it would have started is the month he said he lost his salary entirely and had no money at all to contribute to joint family expenses or the mortgage) We would have lost our house!!!! I was stunned. So guess who had to jump in once again and was expected to pay my 40% plus his 60% and ALL expenses with no notice. I am now paying $35k plus per year that I had not anticpated. bc he can pay nothing. I am pulling from savings each month and super stressed but so far, doing it all. He has his groceries paid for his house paid for and all etc plus all of the kids expenses . He is going to office each day but earns nothing. I also pay a nanny. He has looked for work past five months and only interviewed once in person and once on ohone and received no offers. I feel he should(and come up with this on his own accord and want to earn something for kids even if not for me and to help me ) at least get a part time job on weekends and have interviewed to see what if any is out there that he could get , before or after the work day at this point. Even earning min. Wage would at least contribute something and at least cover his own needs. He says he doesnt want to quit his job now bc it looked better to have a job to find one so he cant take some thing during work day. Again he is earning nothing at his job and nothing in near future commissions projected. He now wants me to give even more money, he wants me to give him MORE money on TOP…. of picking up his portion of joint living expense…...paying entire mortgage.....paying nanny kids school and all associated w/kids needs, activities , clothing, bday gifts etc and house that he just dumped on…. .....And car insurance for him and xmas Presents for his family (all items in past he…...... uses his earnings to pay) and causing me to ...drain savings to cover. He wants money now for gas ....for his car cleaners et.c. yet I am floored he would even ask or expect this vs earning something six plus months later now. Min wage if he must. I feel That is not right and not fair I am already completely stressed ...paying his share for all else and using my hard earne….d savings . he could get a min wage job if ...necessary outside of work hours or else and feel ...natural consequences of his actions or lack thereof vs expecting this now from me on top of ALL else i am forced to pay now.He knows his expenses and has been without an income for six plus months now and known for a year plus and had plenty of time to plan how to earn something vs once again me….. swooping in and paying it all for him when he again drops the ball.. THis time the stakes are higher though, a house we could have lost and kids needs that must be med and fed. Sugestions? Advice? I love him but am floored. I read about loving detachment but it is tough to do.