Hello Everyone. I have a dear friend with ADHD whom I see almost every day walking our dogs. I'm the non-ADHD person. I'm trying to understand how ADHD affects her communication and also some behaviors. She is a dear friend but sometimes I feel exhausted after spending time with her and trying to figure out what her point is. Sometimes what she says or does feels rude but I don't think that is her intention. So here are some questions I have. Feel free to focus on one or two or as many as you want. I value your sharing what you know.
1. She seems to go into all types of diversions in our conversations that I have to ignore to get to the kernel of what she is saying. She takes a very long time making a point. If I ask her a clarifying question, she goes in a whole new direction. I end up just listening to her various diversions bc it feels easier than trying to get her to focus. Sometimes I intentionally zone out bc of the weight of holding so much info. I must admit that often I prefer not to go on a walk with her bc it's so draining. I seriously don't want to tell her this bc I don't want to hurt her feelings.
2. Because of the above, it feels like she is dominating the conversation. Sometimes I can't get a word in edgewise. Our conversations lack the give and take that characterize my conversations with other people. It almost feels like she is talking to listen to herself talk. I should say she is not always this way. Sometimes she asks my questions or gives me room to share. Our communication is esp triggering to me as it's similar to the conversations I had with my narcissistic mom. My mom would dominate the conversation talking about herself, people she knew, etc. and wasn't really interested in me and my thoughts and feelings
3. Related to some of the above, it seems like she goes into so much detail explains things. An example is that when she is working on a house or garden project, she goes into every minute step along with why she made the decisions she did. There is so much detail that the description starts getting seriously boring. I want to enjoy her accomplishments with her but all the detail kind of spoils it. And I am interested in her projects--she can do so many things that I can't and she is very creative. But sometimes I avoid asking her any questions bc I know the answer will be so long.
I've spent a lot of time on this site and I know there is a lot of wisdom here. Thanks for your help!