Positive traits

Hello, I'm new to this community and I'd like to get some advice on my marriage. I'm a person without ADHD and my wife has ADHD. I recently finished reading "The ADHD effect on marriage" as I was beginning to feel ignored and unloved. I've become bossy and controlling in our relationship and I hate myself. Much of the book talks about empathizing with your partner and appreciating the strengths that come with their ADHD rather than focusing on the negatives. It frequently uses examples of being passionate or hyper focused, creative, turning anything into a game, being playful with kids, being spontaneous and fun...etc. 

What if my partner is none of these things? She is very awkward with children. She doesn't turn anything into a spontaneous, fun game. She's really not creative at all. In fact, she does best with directions laid out in front of her. If you ask her to wing a task and think on her feet or if you ask her to create a recipe/piece of art...etc, she freezes. In fact, decision paralysis is a huge trait of hers.  

It just seems like a lot of information out there paints a picture of ADHD as if it's some sort of Hulk/Bruce Banner super power thing, but it doesn't seem like my wife's ADHD has a silver lining. I'm having a lot of difficulty finding something in her that is a positive incentive for me to focus on rather than the usual negatives that I always focus on. 

Does that make sense? Is my wife just an atypical sub-type of ADHD?