I'm 6.5 mths pregnant and struggling with a lot of pelvic and back pain this time. It's difficult to sleep, dress, sit comfortably, walk for more than 30mins etc. My husband (ADHD) and I have been ok for about a year... much better than the horrendously stressful few years that followed the birth of our first child. That's when we started looking seriously at the impact of ADHD on a relationship, and it all made perfect sense.
I find it very difficult that he doesn't seem to be able to respond with compassion when I need some emotional support, but particularly at the moment. This coupled with his inability to plan ahead for the baby, or make any nice/thoughtful plans for us before the baby comes has left me feeling very alone in this pregnancy. I am also very worried now about the impact of having a newborn on our marriage. Especially how the lack of sleep will affect my husband's mood and ability to support me rather than make things harder. But also, his lack of emotional skills has made me long for that connection and understanding in the next year.
My own self esteem has plummeted with this recently and I don't feel like I have the energy at the moment to continually 'guide' him into giving our family what we're going to need in the coming months. I'm already exhausted. Even when I try it often feels like wasted words.
I don't have much support around me to call upon once the baby is here and I'm considering using our savings to hire some support, but I wish this wasn't necessary. Also, although they may relieve some pressure, they are not going to give me the emotional connection and support I'm desperately looking for in my husband.
I realize there are some things that will never change, it's just very difficult to ignore the absence of traits that you really need in your partner at certain times. if he was more emotionally tuned in or interested, our marriage would benefit in so many ways.
I want to protect myself from despair and exhaustion so I can enjoy our new arrival fully and happily. Any advice much appreciated. X