Problems with change

Hi there I am new here and need some advice..My husband and I have been married for 20 years and in that time I seem to always b the last on his list of priorities.  Growing up he pretty much raised himself and I try and understand that probably has alot to do with how he thinks...He makes decisions based on his wants needs and desires and I walk away feeling like an afterthought...over the past 17 years we have had quite a few nasty arguments about his selfish behavior...tonight however we had a breakthrough, he finally acknowledged his part and I finally realized that when some big change happens in our lives I start panicking and can create a huge mountain out of a molehill, I start worrying that he doesnt care and panic sets in and I go on the attack, I should probably mention I am the one with add...Is this normal for me to panic like that and what do we do from here...sorry this is so long but any help would b greatly appreciated