Professional Spouse with ADD/OCD

Anyone out there have any pearls of wisdom for the burned-out/angry/hopeless spouse of a physician with ADD & OCD who just can't seem to complete the required paperwork and is constantly running behind schedule during the day, being "dinged" by the EMR system for not going through emails/EMR completions in a timely manner, and who is probably about to be fired for the 4th time? Excellent physician, decades of practice, never sued, loved by patients (except the ones in the waiting room waiting an hour or two), admin people despise b/c of tardiness and piles of incomplete charts. HELP!!! I'm finally about to walk out - I cannot take it anymore.

Yes, he takes Strattera, but

Yes, he takes Strattera, but no counseling....though I myself have spent years in therapy figuring out how to let go of trying to control the chaos he creates in our life!

 

my husband keeps pulling all nighters at work

he cant stick to a routine schedule. I have encouraged him to go into work the same time and come home the same time everyday and it just doesn't happen. He works late so he doesn't spend quality time with our children. they want me to do everything for them because I am usually the only person around. He was suspended earlier this year because he didn't finish a project. I am overwhelmed! i have tried lists, email reminders encouragement and nothing works. I am losing interest in him, because i don't feel he has any interest in me. I have tried to get him to put his computer down and talk with me or watch a movie with me and he can't let it go. he is addicted to ancestory.com. he cares more about our family that lived 100 years ago than our family living with him in his home now. Our marriage is falling apart and I am starting to not care. I need help a local support group but cant find one in my city. I have to repeat things to him and I have learned to do this calmly but then he gets mad because I am repeating myself. I don't know what to do?

I know...I guess I should be

I know...I guess I should be grateful we never had children since I've often thought I can't handle any more kids than the man-child I married... At least mine is still somewhat computer-illiterate, if he got hold of ancestry.com he would never work again, or at least become really sleep-deprived. He also was informed today that he will not be working for his current job in 30 days....ADD strikes again. I know, we don't have a local support group either....I'm sure there are some good therapists around since this is a college town but we haven't been here long enough for me to figure it out yet. Mine absolutely can not seem to stick to any sort of schedule either, and seems to think the scheduling/being on time thing is some obsession of mine, not a problem of his. Do you go through that? You know, where you are only trying to get them to do what the rest of us have to do - simple things like show up on time for work, meet deadlines, be on time for appointments - and they make you feel like it's YOU with the problem, like you're obsessed with the clock or whatever, when THEY are the ones with the problem? He is truly a good & kind person, but I'm totally coming unglued at the prospect of ANOTHER lost job, ANOTHER transition, MORE excuses from him as to why it didn't work out...and I have heard them all in the past 22 years... In the immortal words of Charlie brown (unless you're too young to remember "Peanuts")......ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!.

Hang in there - and thanks for posting...it helps me to know I'm not alone in this, that I haven't REALLY lost my mind...

:-)