first, Yay! I have a job interview coming up! (I'll know exactly when sometime next week...)
Also - totally had my mind blown yesterday by a series of lectures by Dr. Russell Barkley, Ph.D at the Centre for ADD/ADHD Advocacy, Canada. You can find these lectures on Vimeo. 'Jon' posted about them in the thread about selfishness.
They were depressing and somewhat liberating. It is VERY technical, and VERY thorough. Explaining in great detail what areas of the brain are affected, and how these areas in our brains are smaller than they should be. It is upsetting, to me... but he does confirm a lot of things i'd already suspected, for example: ADHD is not a gift. it is not something that makes a person quirky, creative or super-smart.... famous adders are not successful BECAUSE of their ADD, they are successful in SPITE of it. This is comforting for me, because it lets me know that the things I actually AM good at are not just symptoms of a severe disorder. They are real. And there IS something more to me than a socially impaired, dysfunctional weight on my husband's shoulders. However, the things I am good at are of no use to anyone, really.
It's so hard learning how serious and never ending it is. The statistics. The stories. The things that are normal that don't make sense to me will never, ever make sense to me. I must continue to try my best to fake it, force it, MAKE it all happen so i'm not destroying anything/anyone. I also know my kids will suffer, too. I can't pretend anymore that 'oh... well, they MIGHT not have it." I know they do. I've got one hyper and one inattentive type.
When do you tell them? and WHAT do you tell them? I will always be in this surreal fog. It's like ALWAYS being drunk or something, and never knowing where you are or what is actually happening in any given situation, trying to speak but only slurring, unable to see clearly (is that the important CEO I met yesterday, or is that someone from high school?)always trying to pass for sober.
See? I can't even stay on topic. what's this? oh... right... progress...
I told y'all I've got an interview, right?