This is progress -- really!

I filed for a legal separation yesterday.  This is progress and I'm feeling hopeful.  Here's why:  1) After I told my husband, we had a calm discussion about the legal and practical ramifications of the filing and of a possible separation.  It has been awhile since we've been able to stay on topic when the topic is serious and personal. 2) My husband seems to appreciate how sincere I am about my unhappiness with our relationship but also seems to understand what I told him:  I don't have an agenda other than to work on myself and figure out what I want; I don't know if I ultimately will want to separate or stay together. He hasn't seemed to "get" this before. 3) I feel relieved because a big matter has just dropped off my list of worries:  my marriage.  I know that I have lots of issues of my own, both ones concerning only me and ones concerning what kind of partner I am and could be.  They will occupy much of my time and energy.  Maybe what happens with them will make my marriage seem fixable; maybe not.  But I'm ready to drop control of this issue.  4) And because I'm not focusing on the relationship, I feel much less uptight about my husband's behavior as well.  I hope he works on his issues and thinks about his life, too.  But if he doesn't, I think I'll be able to accept that.