I just read a critique of a book which has these sentences to describe the main character and it reminded me of many of us on this forum. She said it better than I could:
"Her longing to be a part of something larger than herself renders her more emotionally vulnerable than she might care to admit. Finally, buckling under the pressures of work, play and love, she allows herself to be sucked into a vortex where bad behavior is the norm."
THIS is what had happened to me in the chaos of our marriage. The bad behavior was my H's. His bad behavior became normal and acceptable imperceptibly, bit by bit. I had been "sucked into a vortex where bad behavior is the norm." because I wanted to be part of a good marriage, a family that did not quarrel.
Putting something into words helps me to see things more clearly. Wanting was not enough. Seeing clearly is better than wanting something that will never be. Again, acceptance.