question about ADHD spouse's behavior

My husband regularly points out to the rest of the family when they're wrong about some fact.  Typically, he'll disagree with what the person said and then whip out his phone to check the Internet and prove his point. Is this "I have to be right" or "I don't know when I'm acting superior" (or both)?

I think it's a "I hate to be

I think it's a "I hate to be wrong" thing. My hubby does the same thing as well. I think it's driven by the deserve to know as much as the desire to be right. It comes off as if he's being self superior, but I don't think that's the motivation behind the action.

Pbartender's picture

The "Know It All" Paradigm...

So, I do this one A LOT.

You've got it mostly right, Dazedandconfused...  for me, at least, it's not so much a need to be right (well, it kind of is, but not in the way most people would think), but a desire to not be wrong.  It's a curiosity-driven desire for knowledge, to confirm the knowledge as correct, and to -- in my mind at least -- help others by way of sharing that knowledge.  And when it's information that's interestingly unusual in some way, I tend to get a little over-excited and exuberant and get carried away with myself.  (I'm sure you guys might have noticed it in some of my posts her on the message boards...  :P )

But Rosered's got it partially right, too...  The ADHD hyperfocus and inattentiveness complicates matters, in that while I'm sharing the information I very often miss the social queues that would let me know that the person I'm lecturing to doesn't want and isn't interested in all that interesting "correct" information I'm puking out.  And so, while I think I'm helping out and/or adding something curiously interesting to the conversation, I'm really just coming across as a pedantic, arrogant, egotistical know-it-all.

I'm trying to steer myself toward more...  diplomatic?...  methods.

 

Pb.

Not sure... but...

This is something my (NON-ADHD) husband does ALL THE TIME.  It makes me crazy.  It is only with me though.  we can be at a party or family gathering and someone can say something totally wrong and he'll just smile... but if I am talking to the kids about something, ANYTHING, from the color of chicken eggs to the physiognamy of the larynx/esophogus, he will interrupt whatever I'm saying and tell them that I am wrong and come up with his own answer... (while whipping out his smartphone to check...)

Sometimes, like the most recent one, it is on a subject on which I have extensive knowledge, years of experience and an advanced degree. but he's still sure that he's right....  But this time, I didn't argue, I just waited for the Almighty Internet to let him know he was wrong.

I don't think this is ADHD.  I don't think this is Mars/Venus.  I think this is Smartphonitis.