question for about anxiety with ADD

This is for YYZ or anyone else who may have insight on ADDers with anxiety. My DH told me that his psychiatrist told him that he has an incredible amount of anxiety that he needs to deal with.  He, as you know, is still planning the "great Escape" for he now is saying that the anxiety may be another reason why he should not be married.  Anyway, can anyone explain to me what is in the mind of the ADDer with anxiety?  He blames me for his anxiety, he blames his parents for his anxiety, he blames "abandonment" issues on his anxiety, he blames moving to where we live on his anxiety.  How does one find the real truth regarding his own anxiety? Why can't he see that his increase in his anxiety over the past several years may be due to having an affair, which he still has not taken ownership of. I know my DH projects everything onto me, I have now learned to deflect it. I would just really like to know what he is thinking?

Another question, why cant he just say..I am really scared, I have no idea what is going on.  Can you help me?  I have told him I would give him whatever time he needed, he just had to ask.  Instead I feel he is just pushing me away with comments like " I dont think I am meant to be married.  I know longer say anything.  I just listen to what he has to say and acknowledge it.  I then do not get engaged in the battle of destructive words.  Any thoughts?