A Question.Suicidal Thoughts

Oh boy I thought I could write this but the thoughts just left my head. I'll give it a try anyway.

I read in one of the posts a while ago that the poster had suicidal thoughts during some of the fights she had with her spouse. I did too...the only difference being that I took action and was almost successful. As a consequence the PA at the clinic we go to for medical care will barely talk to me. I feel horrible about this. It was a stupid thing to do, but at the time was overwhelmed with emotion and what my husband was saying to me. I felt like no cared about me and how I felt or what I thought. Absolutely stuck with no way out. But now I feel like the focus is on how my action affected everyone else, and no support for wanting to or understanding for what I did. I feel a little like I'm going crazy right now. I won't hurt myself again. It was a stupid thing to do. I admit that I've behaved badly out of frustration, but I'm trying to turn that around.

I feel pretty lousy about myself.