Racing down hill and the bottom is in sight

I'm glad that I have found this site. I am marred to a man,even though he has not been diagnosed ADHA, he is. We have been married 8 months and it has been a steady down hill race since we said I do. He made me feel like I was his whole world when we were dating. Listen to me, wanted to be with me, hold me, touch me, helped here a the house when I had to work late. Was here for me when I had a nervous breakdown. So supportive, sweet, funny, never a mean word. OH how I loved him and was sure of his love

Then we got married. It has been like some one have flipped a switch. He never touches me with out me having to ask, beg or just grab him to get a hug. Sex, which was great is now nonexistent. He will come in from work and greets the dogs with hugs, kisses and kind words. Never says a word to me. Never touches me.  Does nothing here at the house, which is mine before we married, never helps to pay a bill, his work is more important than anything and I mean anything. In a days time I might see him for an hour. And in that hour he has no time to listen to what has gone on in my day. The only thing that is of any importance is what he is doing.

He tell me that he love me more that anyone on earth, and in his own way I believe he does. But he use to show me how much he love me. Now he comes home to eat and then leave to go to his house where he still has his dogs and gets interested in the television or talks to his friends on the phone over there and leaves me home here by myself. He is loosing that house through that mess with Bank of America. They are going to foreclose on it.

There is a LARGE dog pen here that he had built for his dogs 4 months ago. He built it so he could bring the dog here and he wouldn't have to go over there, the other house, to take care of them. We would be able to spend the evenings together. 8 months married and we have never spent the evening together, never. You know now that I'm writing this down I  sound nuts. I'm just so sad that someone who I love so much is incapable of showing any affection to me. I feel like his maid, not his wife. All of this is affecting me mentally. I feel like I am on a carrousel going round and round. Nothing is ever settled. The bills, mine to take care of, the house, mine to take care of. I miss the man I married. I don't know if I can stay with the one I ended up with. I cry so much any more, I'm so sad, I don't know what to do. He will not go to his DR. and talk to him about his whirlwind life. He is hyper at times down at times and just plan mean talking at times.

I married to have a life partner who I could share everyday experiences with. We use to, now, well now I just don't know what to do. This all sounds crazy

 

Ashedollar's picture

And here we go again

Well got the call this afternoon. At least he called this time. Working late blahh, blahh, blahh. He get so absorbed in what he is doing that I guess the world stops turning. He promised tomorrow to only work until 12:00 then the rest of the day we can do what every we want. Anyone want to be on what time he comes in? I don't.  He'll be here long enough to eat then OFF to the other house to take care of the dogs and get so interested in the TV that who knows what time he'll come back.  I love him but I am getting where I don't like him. I don't want to live like this. In constant chaos, and confusion. I don't know what to do. Well I do but it will be hard. I have to take care of myself. He's made me crazy. I'm on Paxil for depression, buspar for anxiety and zanix for anxiety. I just can't keep this up. 

 

wow

hi there ashedollar-

we have so much in common with our spouses- I don't know what you're doing today- but please take some time for yourself- forget about the dogs and his schedule- make time for you- find some joy independently of him and his needs- if only for an hour- recharge- I know this may be easier said then done- but you deserve some joy- we all do- hang in there!