Rage

So a week of being around and connected (somewhat), ends badly w dh first coming home late without letting me know where he was- til he came home drunk, to last night just not coming home. I was up repeatedly once an hour calling but no answer til now when he states he "fell asleep in the car" because he was so tired. I believe him yet does that matter? He is disappearing! I also think he was drinking again- i know this is an issue and its not getting any better. Ultimately though, what happened, you ask? He started cursing at me - because I am all "controlling". Leads me to believe that he did this on purpose because I sent him some emails about some hard issues we needed to talk about. Knew he'd be angry though he surprisingly gave no indication of it when I spoke to him yesterday. I am so confused and dog tired myself. Need some clarity...feeling hurt yet again and dont know what to do with it...I know I need to place myself and kids as priority and that he (and only he) is in control of his actions. God given me strength!