This is my first time posting, but I have been visiting this site for about a year. My husband stopped taking his ADD medicine several months ago. He also has sleep apnea and won't use his equipment at night. According to him, both these things are my fault. He also tells me I'm the reason he lies. Things have been horrible lately, especially when it comes to our kids. They don't see his constant lies and I'm the "mean and bad" parent because I ask them to do chores. In front of me, he tells both kids (11 and 14) that they don't need to do what I ask and that I should do it myself. Last night was the second time my daughter has accused me of stealing cash from her purse. She told me she's missing $10 and wanted to know where it is. When I ask my husband to tell her that of course I didn't steal her money, he tells our daughter that he doesn't know if I am the thief. The thing is, my husband will take cash from me without saying anything. I am guessing he needed cash and "borrowed" it from her and is blaming me. Our house is so full of tension and I don't think I can live here much longer. I spend evenings alone in my bedroom while husband and kids watch tv downstairs. I thought i could stick it out until our youngest graduates from high school, but the situation with my kids is breaking my heart. I've asked for a divorce but he says he'll spend every penny we have fighting me and that the kids will want to live with him. I know that is true--he's the fun parent and I'm the one that takes care of everything else.
Do what you know you have to.....Your a hostage!
Submitted by c ur self on
If it were me, I would find a family councilor or a 3 party accountabilty group and go take the facts of this post and lay it out for them....Then if you decide to get away from the abuse, (seperate or divorce) I would make the kids go along w/ me to some counseling sessions....A good family counselor, can open the eyes of your children about the responsibilities of a parent to inforce right behaviors and dole out punishment for disobedience..(That's what love is)....
Your husband is living a selfish life, that will come back to haunt him....When his wife and children want have anything to do w/him someday....(Yes some day those teenagers will grow up and find out what it means to have to work and discipline their lives)...Then Dad's happy go lucking plan want seem to appealing to them when they realize it's up to them to be the responsible bread winners...
One of the hardest things in the world to do (that I have found anyway) is to love your spouse...But, have the deep understanding that their thinking, speaking, and behaviors are always one's of blame, blindness, and denial....A life of selfishness, worldly virvolity and irresponsibility....
That life can never be someone you a responsible adult can have a healthy attachment with...It don't matter if you stay for 50 years....In my experiences...."God can change our hearts and minds" But, I must SEE my need, repent, and seek him"
Blessings Laura17, remember, doing nothing will only insure, nothing changes....
As hard as it is, try to never concern yourself over the emotions and opinions of children...Who have been brain washed by a parent who is over endulgent and to lazy or to unwise to discipline their children....They will love and appreciate you someday for standing up and doing the right thing.
c