On Sunday afternoon, after yet another LONG weekend of bearing up under the strain of my husband's anger, b*tchiness and contempt, I wearily told him that I believe it is time that we separate. SUDDENLY he is off the proverbial couch and running around like a mad hatter trying to do EVERYTHING HE HAS NOT DONE FOR YEARS in 24 hours. To wit:
(1) Thanked me for a small kindness. He rarely thanks me for anything. He doesn't NOTICE anything. (2) Got all of the kids ready for a morning appointment. (3) He is at the hardware store at this very moment, buying light bulbs for over the dining table; they have been burned out for 9 MONTHS. (4) Called me at work to see how my day was going. He has done this exactly 4 times in 12 years, today being number 4. (5) Asked me if I needed him to pick up anything while he was out- WHAT???? (6) Made an appointment to take my car in for service. He usually just waits until whatever is in need of maintenance actually breaks. (7) Said, "Hello, how was your day?" when I returned from work. He NEVER greets me when I get home from work. He doesn't even come to the living room to make sure its actually ME who is coming into the house. (8) Stopped to say "Good-bye" to my face when he left for work this morning; he usually just says, "Gotta go," as he walks by me without stopping or looking at me. (9) Asked me how the children's appointment went; usually does not even remember that they had an appointment, and certainly rarely asks me about it. (10) Looked for a Christmas gift online for our daughter. He has chosen and bought her exactly 2 Christmas gifts in 12 years (she does not know that, of course). (11) Offered to make me a sandwich. He only get me something to eat on my birthdays, then he will pick up Chinese take out. (12) Took out the kitchen trash; well... he took it to the mud room. Didn't quite make it to the bin in the garage.
I could go on, but I won't. My anger is boiling within me at a fever pitch at this very moment just typing this. It started last night. I actually got so angry I got light-headed. Took my blood pressure- much higher than it has ever been (my BP is usually very low). He is literally killing me with kindness right now. And I am p*ssed about it.
I appreciate your forbearance in allowing me to unburden myself in this way. Anyone care to venture why his kindnesses are making me feel murderous? I know why intellectually, but I need someone to spell it out EMOTIONALLY for me. Thank you.