Re-negotiating and new boundaries

I want to learn how to re-negotiate - well, our lives!  LOL!!!

My outlook for the past 29 years has been "us as a couple" and "my marriage."

Boy, I have everything enmeshed together - the construction business, our relationship with families versus each of our own relationships with people in our families.  I walk in and out of permeable boundaries that really mean nothing.  And it makes my stomach churn.

I really need to back out of the construction business.   My trying to be supportive is not received as such, thus I receive statements that my feelings on things are nothing he can fix.  Hmm, not that I wanted them fixed.  Maybe just acknowledged and considered.  At the current moment that is not working out so well.  The truth be told, it is exactly as he said: Every decision he has attempted to compromise in has led him to anger.  He tried different things because he "had to."  That backfired major big time - for me and him both.  I thought I was receiving his support, and he was seething that he "did not want to give in but did it anyway."  

I had discovered the wisdom many years ago that we can either be married or work together - trying to do both has us more or less at each others throats.   I realize I have not wanted to fully let go of any speck of control I have, so inasmuch I have done the finances.  The business is literally financially been run into the ground.  It is not like I want to abandon a sinking ship - but I want to extricate myself and let him have the ultimate control.   

I am the one sitting here with a stomach ache, while it appears he is status-quo.  I feel told-off.  I feel disrespected.  Of course, not his intent, but it leaves me shut out - by his angry stance.  

SO, since I have to work myself out of this entangled mess, I am searching for suggestions on the very first baby step to get out of this, with using the most sincere and positive steps I can.  

I have re-read this - and add that I do not want to 'get' out' of this.  I want to make it better.  Thus, I need steps necessary to turn it around.