As the reality sinks in, I realize and feel the fool I have been

So for a full year, I thought we were both working towards acquiring what was necessary to get the counseling that we need.

It has hit me full force that I was once again, the foolish wife of an ADHD spouse who dared to believe that it could be different.  And at the end of the year of work, I find out he chooses his anger and his stuff over me.

That reality has hit me full force, and it so much more painful than I ever thought it would be. I really, truly thought we would make it.  I did. Honestly I did. 

Separation.  Such a filthy word.