Realization, the shock and sadness

I recently bought Melissa's book and read about this site. I found the book out of desperation, searching on the web. Thank goodness is all I can say! It could save my marriage, but I am scared it may be too late. It is very hard for me to type right now, I can't stop the tears. I guess I just wanted to ask if anyone else felt this way when they first came to this site? Years and years of struggle and to think it was ADHD! My husband was diagnosed almost 2 years ago, when my son was. We have been married 19 years and have 3 teenagers. Our problems got worse when I started resenting all I had to do. He is a kind man, no abuse, but his ADHD symptoms have created a monster out of me. I hate when I nag but am just so fed up. Between his defensiveness, and my anger, I don't know what to do. He feels he can't do any thing right and I feel like I have to do everything. I don't want this, I often think it would be easier living alone, I am alone anyway. Years of his distraction made me feel like I was the problem and I never knew why. He always said he loved me but words meant nothing. I sleep with my back to him, it hurts, all this confusion. All I can say is thank goodness for this site. I wish I had found it earlier. Where to begin?