Recently got Engaged - Am i doing a Mistake!!!

I recently got engaged to my bf, its been all great till now - he is a successful entrepreneur. he makes me laugh a lott! is very kind and sensitive. kids just love him!

he recently told me about his adhd - yes he is hyper full of energy,  is restless quite a lot , says he just wants nothing more than to be inside a calm body just to be calm for a day ........

after I started reading on adhd on this website & others I was filled with so much negativity. And now I am feeling like clueless.

I am from India so this is an arranged marriage as most marriages are in India. We have been together for 2 months now & got engaged as his parents & my parents have been good long time friends. He has been very clear about his symptoms from the start. And told me we should read a few books together like Adhd effects on marriage and dr hallowell's book.

But almost all forum posts here give me an idea that - this is one big mistake!!! and this relationship is doomed! I feel bad for him ............. 

anyone out there who has been through it & still feels that it is worth it! that we can make it happen! 

my bf seems eager to work on himself , but he says he stumbles a lot from time to time , anger outbursts at times , procrastination etc..

 

Uniquemess,

I wish you were engaged dreaming of nothing but a happy marriage, instead of coming to this forum and worrying about your BF's condition. I think it is a good sign that he is being honest with you up front about his ADHD and asking you to work on it together with him. However, the fact that it's an arranged marriage that you have known him only for 2 months worries me. I am afraid that his eagerness for getting treated might be also a part of the hyperfocus phase. 

My ADHD husband hid his diagnosis all along until I was suspicious of it first a year after marriage. When we got engaged, he told me about his dad's anger outburst and how his youth has been affected by it, and he assured me that he was different from his dad, and that he wanted to become a better person, and he could do it. I had no idea what he meant by "a better person" at that time, because I didn't know about his ADHD. I thought he just wanted to be great husband. All those promises, never came true during marriage.

Think hard if you still want to marry him even if he never does whatever he says now that he would. Are your parents going to be on your side supporting your decision however it turns out? Do you have an option to get out of marriage if your life becomes miserable? 

Good luck to you, whatever decisions you may come to. 

Yes, you are

I hate to be the cynic, but as the ADHD in my life, I'd say you are making a mistake.

You might be happy in the long run, but the odds aren't good.

Sorry; that's just my 2 cents.

Limetrees