I've been married to my husband for a year and a half. I'm 22- he's 23, no kids (ever). We've been together over two years. I have ADHD and Bipolar- but only deal with hypermanic symptoms that mirror ADHD. I take Vyvanse along with a mood stablilizer and an anti-psychotic. No alcohol or drug use, I've been completely stable for almost a year.
Before my husband, I could only stand to be in a reltionship for two or three months before I had to abandon ship because I would literally wake up and be completely disgusted with my partner. And even if I was in a relationship I always cheated. And the relationship with my husband was no different.
In September I became aware of his infedelities, and behaviors that made me physically ill. We split for two months but reunited because I honestly thought I could see through his flaws and that he would change. There was a short period I had that flutter of love inside, but it was very short lived.
The past month I have been sleeping in the living room. I am on my laptop 12-16 hours a day and rarely talk to him. I can not see myself with him sexually ever again. I want out. Since mid-December I have just created this complete dislike for him. He want's couples counseling and thinks I need new medication. I am finally breaking out of a social shell and getting out of the house.
So, is this a common pattern of not being able to commit? Am I always going to grow completely hateful of the relationship I have with my significant other? Should I bother with couples counseling based on my past patterns- or is it worth a shot? I honestly don't want to save this, I have a level of resentment and sourness that makes my mother laugh and ask "Why are you still married?"