A brief story. My husband just moved here from another country. We have been together a total of almost 3 years.  I feel he is missing his country, his family, his son and friends.  However, we have always had a problem in solving the problems we have. It started with infedility on his part, which he admitted to me when we were in a long distance relationship.  I always felt that i couldnt trust him. But now that he is with me, with still have the same problems.  He does not communicate, he can go all day and not call me nor wanting to communicate until he gets home.  Even at home, he is too tired, he eats, does his thing on the computer, watches the news and off to bed. He is not the person that shows his feelings nor his emotions or what bothers him. He has lost weight being here and I believe is because of his depression starting a new life.  The mother of his child, well, she pressure him to send him money for this and that and is something that doesnt come easily because he doesnt have a good job yet.  The mother of his child, through the facebook of her child, which my husband, my daughter and me are friends with, she post pictures of them two when they had their child, then, she post pictures of her and her boyfriend. then, at times, she would be contacting me via facebook chat, being disrespectful pretending to be his son.  I brought all this things up to him, but he gets mad when i talk about it and shuts down and then we stop talking for days.  We have a bad habit that when we get upset, mainly him with me, we dont talk for days. this happened even when we lived apart for a couple of years. I have spoken to her on many occasions and I honestly feel that she hates him but at the same token, she feels something for him. She has a relationship with another guy, but yet 10 months ago, she called him while he lived in his country to ask him to come over her house around 5 am.  I don't understand all this.  I told him to limit and makes his talks with her brief so that he wont feed into whatever feelings she has that in her mind, she feels he feeds.  But at the same time, I think he gives her that time to talk to her about her things. I get upset at times, because he doesnt give me the time i deserve. We have sex at least once a week and that is, if i get lucky because he is tired or something else.  He says he loves but yet, doesnt feed this relationship but i see him feeding the other one that is only the mother of his child. Gosh, there is so many issues here and truly dont know where to start. The main issues are no communication to limited communication, i dont feel loved, he barely gives me a peck in the morning when he goes to work, there is no romance, he doesnt touches me, i feel that he doesnt desires me, he doesnt do anything for me, but yet, when i bring up something or say something wrong that he doesnt like, the war insues and here we go, we dont talk for days.  This happens every week.  I know he is tired as much as i am tired of this relationship being this way. He promises things but never complies. His anger is way out of hand and he shuts down and thats d end of everything. Then, days goes by, upset, sad and then, he starts talking to me, talks about what happened briefly and then wants us to put it asid and move on, like if it didnt happened. i dont know what to do.  I am too old to go through this relationship, i am too old to ask someone, hey can you hug me, be at least a little bit romantic, a little bit nasty with me, could u kiss me passionatently, or do you desire me?   please please hellp. I dont know what to do....


Hi latingirl,

Can completely sympathise with how difficult communication can be! Is it you or you husband that is the ADHD partner?