Relentless LYING


My partner with ADHD has a very long-standing maladaptive habit of lying. Lying to cover up if he didn't follow through, lying to avoid *perceived* conflict, lying if he feels shame about something. It's got to the point where I don't know what's what with him. It may not be ill-intended but the impact has been proud. I feel detached from him, deeply frustrated- trust and honesty and transparency is a huge necessity for me I'm feeling close and emotionally safe. It just seems like when he is anxious or fearful he immediately goes to lying without pausing and thinking about consequences or other options despite having an ADHD coach and a therapist. I just feel hopeless. It's like- on one hand I have empathy for the ADHD and it's various symptoms- some I have flexibility and understanding around (like him being 5 mins late somewhere etc etc) but this lying- I'm losing steam and momentum in this marriage. We have two kids and I don't want to give up but if I'm honest with myself,!8' quite fed up :( 

Mostly just looking for validation or shared experiences. Thank you for reading.