Relevance....the quality or state of being closely connected or appropriate.

This is my new word.  What is the relevance...in anything?  Is it subjective...or objective?  This came to me last night when I was yet, trying to have a conversation with my wife, and we were doing the "two different languages" thing again?  I finally figure out, what those "two Languages" really are and it hit me, right between the eyes!! LOL  I was trying to speak to her "objectively" about the logistics of chores and who does what in an effort to get past this major stumbling block in out communications again?  This time, I listened only but I was still having a difficult time following her?  Every time I tried to, in effect, talk to her or exchange ideas, she would get frustrated and ask me why I was saying what I was saying?  I said "aren't we trying to problem solve the situation surrounding certain chores?  You started conversation saying, I'm having a real issue with this and I don't know what to do?"  But after that opening line, she seemed to drift off into another topic or things that were unrelated to one another again..and mostly, it sounded like complaining and venting and just went negative from there?  I kept trying to pull the conversation back on line ( to stay on topic ) and she kept going somewhere completely unrelated to the topic which about her feelings or making statements over and over and saying the same thing?  I finally asked her if we could stay on the one topic at hand and try to figure out a solution to the problem that you clearly stated that you were having an issue, and I don't know what to do?  You came to me with this, otherwise, it was not even on my mind?  Don't you want to find a solution to this easily fixable problem as you came to with with and wanted an answer for?"

And she got angry and stopped the conversation saying "I already have the answer, I told you the answer this morning.  That's what I'm going to do and I don't need your help with it"
So why then, did you come to me and say "I'm having an issue with this, and I don't know what to do?"

Relevance. " the quality or state of being:       closely connected......or appropriate"

Which one?  If everything that comes out of her mouth is not related to the topic at hand ( the logistics of chores ) then how can you speak subjectively.. about something that o objective like that?  It appears the problem really truly is...she can't speak or hear things objectively and can only make statement or singular ideas objectively...that are not related to or connected to anything else. What is appropriate in this case should not go into the subjective thought but what I realized as it Dawned on....nothing she was saying was objective to the goal of solving this chore issue we were having? I honestly think, she has no ability to speak objectively and that is the language barrier that has been holding us up.  It you can't speak objectively about anything..then every is subjective even logistical facts and logical matters like fixing this "issue" that she said "I don't know what to do?" ( she came to me...not the other way around )

Because clearly to me, it sounded like the mixture of the two...with no relevance what so ever?  In fact, the only thing she anything I could really understand was........."I'm having an issue"....and......."I don't know what to do"  Everything that came after that, was saying how worried she was?  Wouldn't it be appropriate, to find out or ask what that is?  And when I ask or try to find out more....she repeats he same things again and says...I already told you, here I'll say it again"   Please, no.....stop!!!  Not again!!!!  Repeating te same thing over and over and then saying...I told you,l here I'll say it again. What she said, and kept repeating over and over...had no relevance to what she said before which is why I was not able to follow her?  Subjectively, or objectively speaking, but what I was hearing was both at the same time and nothing made any sense to me?  I realized in the moment...that what she was saying lacked "relevance" to the topic...but not to her,  which made no sense at all?  And then she tells me afterwards, that she already told me what the answer was early yesterday...even though I heard her clearly ( and she admits saying this ) I don't know what to do?   What was the relevance of saying anything to me at all,  and why did she bring it up if she already knew the answer?????????????  My new favorite word.  It gives me a base line to work from now.