Grieving and trying to understand what's happened in my recently ended marriage to an ADD partner. I don't think I've seen discussions specifically on relationship repair and ADD and wonder what experiences others have with this.

I've always felt that solving of conflict or unhappiness in the relationship was highest priority. To reach out, talk, exchange perspectives and find common ground was imperative. I wouldn't rest until we could reconnect.

My ADD partner could let time pass infinitely without doing anything when love or trust were damaged. He seemed to feel no urgency. Maybe he just forgot things. Maybe he felt with our differences there was no common ground and I was just trying to convince him I was right and he was wrong.

Even now my impulse is to repair the emotional damage of divorce and be close friends with my ex husband. I know however that I need to resist taking initiatives with him. Otherwise I'll go on erratically half-managing his life right into his next romantic relationship and hate myself for it. It's just disheartening. I always knew he cared deeply for me as I for him. Now while I sit on my hands, his total lack of action tells me I am worthless. It chills me to the bone. Did I not see it before? Or if I did, why couldn't I draw any useful conclusions from it?

Was this just us, or is it a pattern? Do ADHD partners generally reach out to reconcile? I'd be thankful for your thoughts.