Resources to best support my ADHD husband

My husband of 3 years has ADHD. It negatively impacts his quality of life and our marriage. He has no interest in taking medicine or otherwise managing his ADHD because that would be the same as admitting that there's something wrong with him. He claims to like "how his brain works" (I struggled with moderate to severe depression for about 15 years before getting treated so I do understand where he's coming from.) I can appreciate that he likes being him and I want to support him; however, our marriage and lives are falling apart because of this. (He, of course, thinks its because of a host of other reasons.)

The two of us a gradually falling apart because of this issue. We've both gained a lot of weight, can't maintain our finances, or clean the house. It's almost like living with his ADHD has given to to me too, because I used to be good at all those things. Half the time I feel like I'm living with a sullen 13 year old boy instead of a grown man and I resent feeling like his mom instead of his wife. On the flip side, I know he doesn't do those things on purpose, just like if I forget to take my depression medicine I don't go to pieces on purpose.

What can I do to help support my husband and our marriage? Are there books I can read? Websites I can visit? I want to learn to live with his ADHD in a productive way without feeling so much resentment.