Respect for spouse with ADHD

I am losing respect for my spouse with ADHD. We've been married for over 8 years. He uses ignorant language like calling people or situations "Retarded" and says the F word like it is part of regular speech. It's embarassing to me even if no one is in the room but us- and I cringe when I hear him talk like this. I don't remember him talking like this when we were first together- its like it slowly came out as the years went on. Now that we have an young son, I am especially sensitive to what he says as I don't want my son to think talking like this is ok. I told him last might that this really bothers me and makes me lose respect for him. He seemed to hear me but then just sort of shut down after saying it's how he's talked his whole life and that I don't seem to like anything about him these days.

Is it better to be honest and tell someone you are losing respect for them? I can't help but feel like I probably made him feel like a loser but it is truly killing my respect for him.