I am losing respect for my spouse with ADHD. We've been married for over 8 years. He uses ignorant language like calling people or situations "Retarded" and says the F word like it is part of regular speech. It's embarassing to me even if no one is in the room but us- and I cringe when I hear him talk like this. I don't remember him talking like this when we were first together- its like it slowly came out as the years went on. Now that we have an young son, I am especially sensitive to what he says as I don't want my son to think talking like this is ok. I told him last might that this really bothers me and makes me lose respect for him. He seemed to hear me but then just sort of shut down after saying it's how he's talked his whole life and that I don't seem to like anything about him these days.
Is it better to be honest and tell someone you are losing respect for them? I can't help but feel like I probably made him feel like a loser but it is truly killing my respect for him.
How else is he to know, if
Submitted by lauren07 on
How else is he to know, if you don't tell him?
His excuse was awful. You claim it has been gradual while he claims it has always been a part of him. It doesn't matter because the bottom line is that he's a father now.
I caught mine watching The Big Lebowski with our three year old. Duh! That movie is covered in F bombs. Watch that on your own time.
I wish I knew
Submitted by boilergirl on
I JUST had yet another conversation with my DH about this. He does this all the time. He talks terribly about people in front of our kids and seems to have no idea how inappropriate or disrespectful it is (or just doesn't care.) He says awful things about DS's Cub Scout leader or even other kids. I mean, in a conversation with me, he said, "How did that kid get in the challenge program? He is a dipshit." About a THIRD grader! Also, we were once at a Boy Scout pancake dinner. The leader was there and while we were waiting in line as a family (out of earshot of the leader), he kept complaining and bitching about this person. I had been at work all day and was just tired of hearing it. I just wanted a nice dinner with my family. I said something like, "okay, that is enough." Then, of course, I am the bad guy and he is a royal a-hole to me.
I do think it has to do with his ADHD. He just blurts out whatever pops in his head with no filter or no thought of what he is saying. (He is not taking any medication or receiving any therapy right now.) When I call him out being so negative, he says he is just speaking the truth. I also find myself not liking him or wanting to listen to anything he says. Venting from time to time is one thing. But I swear, I rarely hear something positive come out of his mouth.