My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD. We are in couples counseling and he sees a therapist privately. After years of growing apart our relationship is betting better. But, out financial life is a disaster. When we were first married I had retirement savings. He convinced me to invest in a business that failed. We bought a home and because I had a better credit rating the mortgage was put in my name. I also let him use one of my credit card and he ran up $27,0000 which he pays the bare minimum. We took out an $80,000 home equity loan to fix up the house. Every project was left unfinished and I ended up paying this loan. He is not working now because of a heart condition and is retraining for another career.
Last night while we were out to dinner he decided to tell me he wants to retire in 3 years. I said maybe 5 years (he is 68 and I am 69) but not before we are out of debt since we have no retirement savings. We also have to fix up the house before we csn sell it. He said he thought we should move out of the country and not pay these bills. And furthermore, accused me of only thinking about money. I finally said I couldn't do that and if he felt it was so important he should leave without me but please don't leave me holding the bag on all these bills. I did not get an answer. He just shut down.
I sm sure if I hadn't been so surprised by him bringing up this topic I could have handled it better. Maybe asked how he planned to fix up the house and where he was going to find the money. Now I am panicking that one day he will walk on on thes obligations and I will be overwhelmed with debt. i would appreciate any suggestions about ow to handle this.