I'm new here- I have been reading, and seeing so many sentences that mirror my life. I've always known something is missing in our 15 year marriage. No emotional connection. I'm an emotional person, H is devoid of feelings. We tried Dr. Phil's relationship rescue. Well, I did anyway. H has ZERO defining moments. He has no memories of feeling any kind of emotions. He can't name the happiest times, saddest, anything.
Of course I put myself into therapy, because after riding the roller coaster of depression and loneliness so long, I knew (and he knew) for certain that I'M the problem. We're both very comfortable with ME being the problem. I've tried every antidepressant on the market through the years, and lost about 1/3 of my hair on the last one, but I keep on trying. My therapist finally told me my husband has ADD about 4-5 months ago. She put this book in front of me and told me to read the first page- it was like reading my own diary.
Brought the book home- husband couldn't deny it. He took the quiz and aced it (and not in a good way). I can't believe I was naive enough to think he'd pursue treatment. He's never followed through on anything. Went from yes, I'll be treated, to no, I don't agree with medication. Funny, he agreed heartily with medication when he thought I needed it!
But what has me in tears today is that I just realized that if I stay, my kids will NEVER have met me. They will never know who I am outside of this. They'll only ever know me as a non-add spouse. And I don't like her very much...