RSD in ADHD problems

I was diagnosed at age 7 as "hyperactive" (late 70's) but dad refused to allow medication. I also have had many emotional, often anger issues (when rejection or perceived rejection) was present. My father is narcissistic and mother is his enabler. As the middle child I was pushed to the side. Over my school years I impulsively found a lot of trouble. Bad grades, skipping school etc... I used to be timid, afraid to stand up for myself and tender. Through two rough marraiges and 16 years as a business owner I niw find myself opposite. I am fast to take the defensive, I speak my mind to anyone, anywhere. I can be a reak butt, I am always looking for others motives. Seems I have transformed into the opposite. I need help finding middle ground. What type of treatment would be good? Anyone else with similar issues? This causes problems in my marriage Dailey and I need help to learn better ways to deal with all this. My wife loves me but I do the jeckle and Hyde with her.