My 26-year-old husband has ADD and has been prescribed Adderall and Seroquel, which he has been taking on a regular basis. Or so I thought.
My husband had been complaining lately that his Seroquel wasn't helping him to fall asleep anymore, and was very upset by the way his life has been affected by his lack of sleep. He will not go to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning, and when he gets up for work in the morning, he is very tired and cranky due to his lack of sleep. I also discussed this issue with him, noting that it is hard for us to have cuddle or intimate time together when I fall asleep on the couch every night while he stays up until very very early in the morning. We both agreed to take the steps to make sure that we can have a reasonable bed-time schedule for both of us. Everynight, he would tell me that he was going to take his seroquel a little earlier in the evening, in hopes it would induce some drowsiness, and he would then go into the kitchen and I would hear the drawer opening, the pills rattling, and the water turn on. I assumed this was his taking his medication every night.
However, recently my husband was very depressed and discussing how he needs more sleep and we need more time in bed together. During this conversation, he admitted that he has been going into the kitchen and making the noises as if he was taking his pills, but he actually wasn't, because he doesn't like to go to bed anytime before midnight, and he hates having to go to sleep at night. So, he admitted that he was intentionally putting on this charade of taking his pills in order to make me believe that he was doing his best to manage his symptoms and doing his part to help us have more night-time together. When he admitted this, he asked me to follow him into the kitchen and watch him swallow his pills every night. I agreed, and did not scold or argue with him, because I didn't want him to believe that he would be punished for telling the truth. But honestly, I told him that I am so very disappointed that he sabotaged his own treatment and our time together, but also that he went out of his way to deceive me regarding his medication.
Since that conversation the other day, my husband has decided that he doesn't like any of his medications, or his doctor, anymore and he instead wants to see a new doctor, for new medications. He also wants to see a nutritionist, a personal therapist, and a psychological neurologist who can perform brain scans. I understand that some of this, such as the nutritionist and the therapist, would be good for him, but we don't have the money for all of this and I am honestly quite upset that days after he admits that he was sabotaging his own treatment, he wants a whole new treatment plan. The one he is on was working out fine when he was taking his medications as prescribed.
I'm hurt by the deception and the lies and don't know how to handle it from here. It seems like I'm just supposed to drop it now, but I am so very hurt that the lies have continued . I'm disappointed that he sabotaged the treatment that his doctor, his wife, his family, and his friends were all working so hard to support him on. He also has four calendars, all with post it notes, index cards, and labeled time slots, in the house that he has at his disposal, because he asked for them and swore it would help his organizational skills. He gets all the support he needs, but then he chooses not to utilize the tools, treatment, or support that is given to him and I don't know what to do now. I am concerned that no matter how much help he gets, he will sabotage his treatment if it requires him to do something he doesn't like, such as fall asleep early.