After dating who I thought was the love of my life for over a year (and has ADHD, medicated), I have finally decided to end our relationship. This is not a quick decision but instead something I've been pondering for the past several months. His erratic behaviors, mood swings, and lack of motivation have taken such a toll on me in one year - and I can't imagine a lifetime with this person if one year has been so tough.
More specifically, he again shut down from me emotionally this weekend. His work has again become overwhelming, and as a result, he shut everyone out of his life and refused to answer my phone calls, text messages, and emails. Today, he finally responded, explaining these feelings of stress. Even though he is leaving his job for another, it has still stressed him out to the point of not returning anyone's phone calls and holing up in his apartment for days without speaking. This is not the first time this has happened.
We discussed separation last week, and he asked me to "wait for things to get better." That once he had a new job, "everything would change." I have heard this line again and again and again.
I realize that I am unlike many on this site and perhaps I'm even lucky to be in this situation (of not being bound to him). We are not married, have only been together for a year, and I'm still pretty young (28). But I have felt the pain of all of your stories. It has shown me the future - both in a negative and positive light. Although I love this man so deeply and truly thought he'd be my husband, I am now ready to admit that I'm simply not built to deal with someone who shuts down anytime things get tough. I can't even imagine having children with him or harder endeavors down the road, if he thinks his first adult job is too overwhelming.
However, saying goodbye is never easy. I will miss his good nature. How he could instantly connect with others. His charm. His humor. The comfort and his warmth.
I hope that I am making the right decision, but you can never be too sure. I have had too many sleepless nights, however, worrying about him. My health is starting to suffer. My relationship views are starting to warp. I want to love myself again - and be truly appreciated by another person.
I hope it doesn't make me a terrible person to "give up."