Seeking advice: partner going cold turkey from adderall

Hello. I am really struggling with what to do. I am married to an ADHD partner and we have young kids. My partner has been out of adderall for a week, since they missed an appointment with their prescriber. (this is not the first time this has happened, and I suspect that my partner is probably using up all their chances with this prescriber). For the first 5 days, my partner said they hadn't heard back from the prescriber. I also expressed my frustration that my partner keeps running out of medication (which has been happening consistently for months, and honestly years, leaving my partner unable to function, not making it to work, not doing anything at home, and not able to parent). I just learned that my partner has heard back from the prescriber who was willing to meet, but that my partner didn't want to. Which leaves my partner without any medical/psychiatric support for detoxing from aderall. 

At home, my partner has been mostly sitting on the couch, self medicating with alcohol, and watching tv all day. Last night, they became extremely irritable/agitated and started targetting me, getting angry with me for not being supportive enough (i.e. expressing my feeelings of hurt, anger, discomfort and how this situation is affecting our family). I asked my partner to please call the prescriber back (even if they want to continue detoxing off aderall, which i completely support) so that they can have medical/phychiatric support. I told them that I feel really strongly that it is important. But I don't think they will do it. In addition, they aren't going to work which has been a problem on and off for the past few years, so I am worried they will lose their job. And I am absolutely emotionally exhausted, worried about the impact on my kids, and tired of being an emotional punching bag. 

I honestly have no idea what I can do to a) keep my own mental health together so that I can be there for my kids, b) help my partner through this detoxing if that is what is going to happen, and c) move forward if they don't reengage with mental health care. Nothing i do/say, including ultimatums, has any impact.