I'm relatively new here, hope I'm positing this in the right place.
A little background: For the last 6 months or so I've had my finger hovering over the big flashing "give up and get out" button. Then about a week ago, my husband finally went to an appointment with a Psychiatrst, was diagnosed with ADHD, and put on Ritalin. When he got back from the appointment, we had a long talk about everything, and I brought up some of the feelings I've been having that I was afraid to share, because I was pretty sure he'd use them as an excuse to not try to save the marriage at all. As I put it to him at the time: I haven't given up on us, but I've pretty much given up on him.
Anyway, now that we have a diagnosis, and treatment, I feel like there is some hope. But after the big talk, he suggested that he move to the "guest room" so we both had space to heal. Since our marriage bed hasn't seen much action for almost a year now, I really didn't see how this would help in any way, but I agreed. Less than a week later, I asked him to find someplace to go, even just temporarily, because having him here but not here was just throwing the whole marriage in crisis thing in my ace every minute of the day. I am self-employed and work from home, and it is affecting my productivity dramatically.
So now he's "planning to move out". Since the prescription, he's actually been accomplishing things, but there is still no sign of emotional attachment to me, or interest in me as a partner, so I need him to not be here. I told him asking me to still have him in the house right now is like filling the fridge of a person on a diet with chocolate ice cream. I want the man I love back, and his body is here, but the person is somewhere else. It's too hard to have him around.
I'm so in limbo and I'm scared. I keep hoping that something will shift, and I *know* I need to be patient if I want to let the meds do their work. I'm wondering if I did the right thing, but I can't stand the constant feeling of walking on eggshells that I have with him here right now.