After 13 years of fighting, I just don't know how much fight I have left in me.
This morning I was getting DS off to school while DH was out shoveling the driveway. He comes in and DS was on the couch being his usual ornery self like he is every morning. DH says "oh, you're not going to school today?" WTF?!?!?!!?!? So that puts the idea in DS's head. Gee, thanks.
Then I get yelled at because the TV is on. We have a "no tv before school" rule. But it wasn't Disney channel--it was the news! I had been up with the baby for an hour before this, so I needed something on to get me going. DS was not watching the news.
Then we had an argument about the stupid Cub Scout pancake breakfast tomorrow. Cub Scouts is a hyperfocus thing for DH--he is our son's Den Leader--and I am quite ambivalent about it all. I have enough on my plate--I don't need more added for me. That apparently means I don't care about our son.
I'm so sick of him stepping on my parenting and getting in the middle of things all the time. His mood is so volatile and his parenting so inconsistent.
I just don't see any hope anymore. He is in therapy and is probably starting meds soon, but I don't know how much more I can take.
There are other things that have happened, too, but I'm just too tired to write them out. *sigh* I wish I had a friend to talk to, but this is too difficult. I don't see my therapist until Wednesday.
It's the most wonderful time of the year. Yeah right.